Perverts for Love

Excerpts from IRC log, November 26, 2000 Francesca and AnnaS (with guest appearance by Margie)

Cesca could see sort of doing a romance

Cesca: they met years ago, etc etc

Cesca: something sort of sexy and chaste

Cesca: Except Cesca sighs

Cesca: it's all just too...coincidental.

Cesca: Bugs me, that

anna: you have seriously got me thinking about a Jim/Blair story where Blair is, like, thirteen...

anna: Jim would be twentyish.

Cesca beams!

Cesca: Write it with me!

Cesca: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze

Cesca: And he saves him

anna: saves him?

Cesca: from a burning building

anna: from...?

anna giggles.

Cesca: in Kazanilastanskishan

anna: oh my god, what?

Cesca: And then!!

anna: you nut.

Cesca: They go make out somewhere

Cesca: like

Cesca: in a barn

anna: how the hell did you type that?

Cesca: while

Margie shakes her head at the pervs

Margie: I

Margie: am going to eat my dinner

Margie: <g>

Cesca: the local fire department — wearing turbans — hauls water by pail to the site of the fire

Cesca: And

Cesca: Naomi

Cesca: is in a nearby Kibbutz. Obviously.

anna: snert

anna: That's just wacky, girl.

Cesca pouts

anna: <g>

Cesca: But it has smooching and fire and a kibbutz...

Cesca pouts more

anna: I don't know if I'd be any good at co-writing. I tend to think of it as moneylending between friends. Dangerous...

Cesca: I hate you.

anna grins.

anna: But I'd read it avidly and with wails of joy if you wrote it.

Cesca: Hmm.

Cesca: I might have to .

Cesca: Just cause

anna: yes, yes, yes!

Cesca: I like fire and smooching and underaged boys kissing soldiers in barns.

Cesca: So there.

anna looks warily at Ces who likes fire.

anna: How about we both write one, and compare as we go?

Cesca: ok!

anna: <g>

Cesca: The great Underaged Sex in Kazanilastanskishan fic challenge!

anna: Um, no.

Cesca: Oh.

anna: The great Underaged Sex challenge.

Cesca: No Kazanilastanskishan? No fire?

Cesca: No barn?

anna: I will be remaining in Cascade.

Cesca rolls eyes

anna: No Kazanilastanskishan. No fire.

anna: Sorry. <g>

Cesca: Oh, all right.

Cesca: Take all the fun out.

anna: But I want to read yours, dear.

Cesca: No turbans?

Cesca: Put in at least one turban.

anna: No turbans for me, no.

Cesca: Like the deli guy.

anna: I'll try.

anna: Okay.

Cesca: It's an international city.

anna: And a fire of some kind.

anna: Yes.

Cesca: Yes.

Cesca: Fire and a turban.

anna: The great Underaged Fire and Turban Sex challenge.

Cesca: Like, it will be a demented cousin of my story. Or vice versa.

Cesca: LOL!

Cesca: Yes!

anna: lol

Cesca is happy now! Cesca comes close to anna and whispers anna leans in

Cesca: "You know, I have this thing, that when you're going to do what is an essentially silly and or embarrassing thing, you do it with lots of swagger."

anna lights a cigarette, kisses Cesca's cheek, leaving a red-lipsticked print.

Cesca: "So, see, if I'm gonna do an underaged Jim and Blair story — I want turbans, fire, camels, people gibbering in arabic, Naomi's gauzy dress catching fire, maybe trumpets. Faces smeared with dirt. A brass band. Muffins."

anna goes up on stage to sing a torch song.

Cesca applauds

anna: Mine will probably be rather mundane, I'm afraid.

anna: (Muffins? Well, those are always nice.)

Cesca: I just feel — go for it!

Cesca: Be loony.

Cesca: I get away with a lot of stuff by being OTT. Hesitation is fatal.

anna: <g>

Cesca: I have little subtlety. You have, so you can do it.

Cesca mmmms to self

Cesca: What if

Cesca: Jim

Cesca: has stayed in the closet

Cesca: his whole life

Cesca: because

anna: I love that whole paragraph you wrote from turbans to muffins. anna says happily.

Cesca: ever since this weird incident with the camels and the muffins

Cesca: and kissing this weird dirty kid in a barn

Cesca: he thinks

Cesca: he's a pederast?

anna: lol

Cesca: I'm serious!

anna: that's a hoot. Cesca muses thoughtfully.

Cesca: Not knowing

Cesca: of course

anna: but it's really just his one true love!

anna: One True Love!

Cesca: that he's a sort of specifically tuned pervert, not one of the general variety.

Cesca: Oh, ok. Have it your way. One true love!

anna: Well, what do you mean by specifically tuned pervert? <g>

Cesca: I was thinking Specific Pervert.

anna: specifically tuned pervert = one true love

Cesca: Well, we're all perverts for love.

Cesca: <happy sigh>. You share my disturbing kink.

anna: I do.

Cesca: I love you.

anna: I love you.

anna: <g>

anna: We're Akbar and Jeff!

Cesca: I find that my love for you is also a disturbing kink.

anna: lol

Cesca falls over

Cesca: Oh no!

Cesca: I look bad in a fez!

anna: That was such an Akbar and Jeff *line*!

anna: "I find that my love for you is also a disturbing kink"

Cesca: Yes!

Cesca: How true!

anna giggles.

Cesca: We're our own cartoon!

anna: whee!

Cesca: Sad, sad, sad. So sad. So very sad.

PS. After much pressure from me, and after trying to weasel out in every way including renaming herself The Fic-Writer Formally Known as Anna, Anna finally lived up to her contractual obligations in a technical sense by producing the following:

Once upon a time, Jim was a 40-year old man and Blair was a 7-year old boy in a turban. "Hi," said Jim, smiling.

"Want some candy?"

Blair stuck his thumb in his mouth.

"Are you lost?" Jim asked, kneeling next to the boy and looking around surreptitiously for the child's mother.

"My truck's right over here," Jim said. "Have you ever been in a truck?"

The child's angelic eyes lit up. "Twuck!" he cried.

"Very good," Jim said, reaching down into his front pocket and feeling around. "I think I have something for you...right here...somwhere....ahhhh, there it is...."