Clam up

By Sealie

Culture Clash Challenge/Buildings and Food SGA_flashfic Challenge (Amnesty)

Pairing: Genfic
Rating: PG
Beta: LKY

Spoilers: none/first season


Based on a true story



SGA-1 and Dr. Beckett looked out across the tidal mud flat that stretched as far as the eye could see. Dotted at regular intervals were fist-sized shellfish. They were shaped like scallops with paired ridged shells. As they sat in the shallow water, pairs of globular protrusions extruded between the shells, pulsating gently. 


“Do you think they’re edible?” McKay bent over to peer closely.


“What are they?” Sheppard asked.


“Fanny clams,” Ford supplied.


Carson splurted hysterically. “You what? That’s so rude!”


Sheppard and McKay turned to the doctor, who was blushing brightly.


“Well, they are.” Ford pointed. “Fanny clams.”


“You cannot call them fanny clams.” At the words, he blushed redder.


“Why?” Ford asked.


Red enough to fry an egg on, Beckett turned away.


Ford held his hands out. “Is someone going to tell me what the problem is?”


McKay smiled his twisted smile. “Probably not a good name, given the international flavour of our expedition.”


“So?” Ford said through gritted teeth.


Taking pity on the painfully young lieutenant, Sheppard leaned in closely. “Just call them ‘ass clams’ and everyone will be happy.”


“But?” Ford asked, glancing at Teyla.


The Athosian shrugged.


Still smiling, McKay trailed after the shy doctor and splashed him. Carson retaliated and then the water fight was on in earnest.


Sheppard moved towards them, either to stop them or join in.


“Isn’t anyone going to tell me what I said wrong?” Ford demanded. “I don’t understand.” 


Teyla moved up next to him. “Welcome to my world.”