Unknown
and Knowing.
(missing scene)
by Sealie
We need to escape. But I find
that this enveloping time loop becomes enervating as it progresses. There is
also a matter weighing on O’Neill’s mind and it prevents him from acting.
While he has never voiced his
concerns; he believes that DanielJackson died on P4X 637 at the hands of
Malachi.
Realisation
that DanielJackson was missing came before the lightnings
warped the gate and sent us into the loop. Our friend lay
unconscious or dead, hidden behind a pillar and Malachi was responsible.
DanielJackson
had been attacked and left for dead while O’Neill and Carter bickered and I set
out our equipment.
This galls me
and claws at Colonel O’Neill’s conscience.
We cannot know
if DanielJackson is dead; Major Carter crouched at his side to render aide
while the colonel and I sought to prevent Malachi from finishing whatever
nefarious purpose he had initiated.
DanielJackson
died in a heartbeat… alone.
Or is he
merely unconscious? We will never know. But Malachi appeared to be a desperate
man. It is likely that as he sought his goal he would allow none to stand in
his way.
When we do
break free of this loop, which holds us, will we be transported to the point
when we entered the loop? Will DanielJackson live or die?
I know that
this weighs heavily on O’Neill’s mind. He spoke covertly with Major Carter on
our last loop – asking if we succeeded with our endeavour when would we restart
time?
In all
innocence she told him, “at the point we left it.”
Colonel
O’Neill took the next day off and I believe that he has gone ‘a little mad.’
He has
redirected his efforts to teaching me golf.
I am better
than he is.
This also
galls him.
But the matter
has not been resolved. When we resume our lives will DanielJackson live or die?
So here we sit
in the commissary, once again facing Fruit Loops.
“Colonel
O’Neill.”
He looks up
from contemplating his navel. Why he should wish to contemplate his navel, I do
not know. But he said that he wished to spend this loop in navel contemplation.
“We cannot
remain here.”
“I *know*
that,” he snaps in his manner of emphasising words.
“While we stay
here it is a matter of living death for the Tau’ri.”
Pushing back
on the commissary table, he merely glowers at me.
I continue
implacable. “Regardless of the unknown we should continue.”
“Eh?” A dark
suspicious cast falls over his eyes.
While Colonel O’Neill is adept at playing the buffoon, I know that an intelligent man lurks behind his clownish façade. One does not become a leader of men if one is an idiot.
“Look at it
this way, Teal’c, at least the Goa’uld can’t invade.”
“Neither can
we free the slaves of the Goa’uld.”
“I’m just
trying to take a break,” he protests, trying to change the subject that we are
skirting around.
“DanielJackson
spoke to me of the Lotus Eaters.” I refuse to be side tracked.
“You know,
you’re an alien, you’re not supposed to know about that kind of stuff.”
I deliberately
raise my eyebrow in that manner which I know amuses and frustrates
him.
“This loop
grows more seductive at every turn. You are able to live without consequence,
knowing that you cannot face reprisal.”
He licks his
lips unconsciously.
“We should
persevere in our attempts to escape this loop,” I reiterate.
“We are.” He
is casual and offhand, but his dark eyes give him away.
“If time had
continued unchecked DanielJackson may have died. But to stay here is to
sentence him to a living hell.”
O’Neill
blanches and stalks away without a word.
I spoke the
truth. O’Neill – and I will never say this to his face – feels things strongly.
He will never forgive himself for leaving DanielJackson on Klorel’s
ship to die. He will never leave someone again to suffer alone and … die alone,
even if the fate of the very universe rests upon his shoulders.
He is a man of
great integrity.
DanielJackson
is alive in this reality, so some small part of him does not wish to face the
unknown.
“What if we
can figure out how to get out of the loop before Daniel dies?”
I had not
realised that O’Neill had returned. He must have made an immediate about face
on exiting the commissary.
“We do not
know if DanielJackson has died.”
“He looked
pretty dead to me.”
“Indeed, but
he may yet still live.”
The woman
cleaning out table starts at my words, I dismiss her.
“What if he
isn’t?” O’Neill says through grated teeth.
“As we
persevere with the translation we may learn how to fine tune the device. But
Major Carter has warned us previously of the effects of manipulating time.”
“This is an
entirely different kettle of fish.”
“I am unfamiliar
with the idiom.”
“This is a
time loop! Nothing’s real!” he exclaims.
“DanielJackson
was injured prior to entering the loop.”
“Shit.”
“We cannot
stay here, O’Neill. Many of our allies, including my wife and son, are outside
the area effect of the time loop; they are vulnerable.”
O’Neill’s eyes
are sorrowful as he weighs the import of my words.
“And if
Danny’s dead?” he utters.
“We shall continue,” I intone. “ And Malachi will die.”
finis